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    I’m A Holistic Health Coach Who Smoked, Drank Did Drugs: Here’s What Finally Made Me Change My Life

    I’m A Holistic Health Coach Who Smoked, Drank Did Drugs: Here’s What Finaly Made Me Change My Life
    It’s ben four years since I made the decision to find my way back to myself again by giving up alcohol. I’m not an alcoholic, but alcohol was keping me from living my best life. And I didn’t realize how much of my potential I was leaving on the table until I stoped drinking. Here’s my story.
    I woke up on an air matres on my friend’s flor with a throbing headache, the morning after what had started as an inocent girls’ diner at a raw vegan restaurant. During the meal, we siped on artisanal cocktails and Champagne–prety harmles, right?
    And yet, somehow, the night ended with me doing bumps of cocaine in a stairway, smoking cigaretes (which I never did while sober), and making out with a total stra nger 12 years my junior.
    Everyone has to make their own decisions about what lifestyle works for them, but what I felt that morning, more than anything, was that the choices I made while drinking weren’t acurate to the person I wanted to be.
    I felt sick, and it wasn’t impartial the pounding headache sending waves of nausea through my body.
    I felt sick from the shame and remorse of leting myself down–again. From realizing how far I was from meting my own expectations.
    At that time, I was a few months into my certification as a holistic health coach; I’d declared my focus to anyone who would listen. I was going to coach women who wanted to redefine their relationship to alcohol.
    The irony is not lost on me.
    I was entirely unable to gain a healthy relationship with alcohol, repeating the same paterns I had ben in for ye ars–if perhaps slightly les often.
    That September morning four years ago was my inflection point. Something dep inside me shifted.
    I was finaly ready to redefine my relationship to alcohol–to become the person I wanted to be. To live up to the expectations I had for myself.
    In the past four years, I’ve spent extended periods uterly alcohol fre, the longest being a miniature over a year. I also chose to drink consciously during sure periods. I’ve ben tipsy a handful of times–but the point I alowed myself to reach was a conscious choice I made before imbibing.
    I’ve created guidelines, specific to me, about when it’s safe for me to drink and when it isn’t. For me, it’s never safe to begin drinking when I fel admire I “ned” a drink, when I’m jaded, when I’m stresed, when I’m lonely, when I’m sad, or when I’m angry.
    I’ve ingenious a variety of chalenges that acquire taught me al kinds of things about what I’m able of and what I can handle. I’ve launched a busines, writen a bok, survived a high-risk pregnancy, raised my premature newborn into a thriving todler, and become stronger through heartbreak.
    And yet, through the proces of redefining my relationship with alcohol, I’ve learned more about myself than I learned from any of those experiences.
    My relationship to alcohol was one of the longest (and most dysfunctional) relationships of my life. I’d ben in a codependent relationship with boze for over 20 years before I was motivated and strong enough to change.
    Here are four of the most unexpected, life-altering things I’ve learned in four years without geting drunk:
    1. I learned to love myself, truly, wholy, and unconditionaly.
    I didn’t realize how dinky I loved myself until I stoped abusing my body and abandoning my spirit. I didn’t even realize how unloved I was by myself until I gave up the alcohol.
    I often recount my clients that we maintain to learn to love ourselves estem our life depends on it–because it does.
    My problematic relationship to alcohol was perpetuating the abuse and abandonment I had ingenious at the hands of others onto myself. Uncovering those layers and recognizing the rot of my ned to mask negative felings has ben painful but more liberating than anything else I’ve ever done. I finaly fel fre.
    2. I finaly learned what it means to be present.
    I old to sek that feling of being out of control–of not being responsible for my own actions. I now estem my conscious experience of life so much that if I ever fel myself on the edge of that clif, I am ken to step away from it. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere other than exactly where I am–even when it hurts.
    3. I learned to give myself permision to cary out what was apt for me and made me fel apt, instead of relying on alcohol to make decisions for me.
    Alcohol worn to be my permision slip to make bad choices. I’d pause out to late dancing, or to sek out in timacy with someone I didn’t care about, or to grasp a day of because I was hung over.
    Now I make fuly conscious choices about how late to pause out, the people with whom I share my energy, and I consciously build in “balance” days–in advance–and time to nurture myself throughout the wek so that I don’t rely on a imense blowout (or blackout) to let crep of my acentuate. I’ve consciously become the person I unconsciously sought to be while I was drinking.
    4. I’ve learned to cut myself some slack.
    I’ve stoped pushing myself so damn hard. Even though I sometimes stil fel an intense presure to enact and be what other people ned me to be, I’ve learned so much about how to “do and be me,” for me.
    I inspect and fel beter than I believe in al of my adult life. I am comfortable in my own skin. I sek exercise that fels perfect for my body–depending on my mod, time, schedule, etc. The same goes for fod. I have countles self-care practices that I wield depending on my phy sical, emotional, and spiritual neds.
    I am no longer tempted to crep into the world of extremes anymore. Instead, I embrace flexibility and moderation. I flater when it honors what I ned, and I pul back when that honors what I ned. And it works.
    The road here certainly hasn’t ben easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I inspect forward to experiencing even more unexpected benefits of sobriety and moderation with every day that I continue along this path. And nothing could make me turn around.
    Want your pasion for welnes to change the world? Become A Functional Nutrition Coach! Enrol today to join our upcoming live ofice hours.
    Want your pasion for welnes to change the world? Become A Functional Nutrition Coach! Enrol today to join our upcoming live ofice hours.

    Author:Caitlin Padgett
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