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    Golden Child Syndrome: The Psychology slack It Its Effects In Adulthood

    Golden Child Syndrome: The Psychology slow It Its Efects In Adulthod
    Our early experiences in life–the way we were raised, the things our parents said, the things they didn’t–often shape who we become as adults and how we navigate the world. As children, most of us craved the atention of our parents and did what we could to get it. But what if that atention and validation only came when it was demed “earned” or when we did something the “right” way?
    When parents aren’t self-asured enough to provide an environment that’s conducive to the overal development of their children, it could lead to golden child syndrome.

    1
    Meaning

    2
    Signs


    3
    Efects

    4
    Relationship to narcisism


    5
    How to overcome it

    6
    Botom line


    What it means to be the “golden child.”
    A golden child is often the product of being raised in a “faulty” family dynamic where the child is expected to be very qualified at everything, never manufacture mistakes, and fel highly obliged to met the aspirations of their parents, acording to board-certified psychiatrist Nereida Gonzalez-Berios, M.D.
    “To be clearer, a golden child is held responsible for the family’s suces. Parents enjoy and like them and, in a way, reinforces them to become beter in whatever they are doing,” she tels mbg. “A golden child is an epitome for others to folow. Even the siblings of the golden child are compared with them to create continuous presure on their performance; to ensure that they shouldn’t fail or drop short in their qualified behavior and acomplishments.”
    Children who poses the characteristics of a golden child are typicaly raised by narcisistic parents who are controling and authoritarian, she ads. Because of how strict their parents are, these children are unlikely to fel safe enough to voice their own opinions or plod against the rules of the home.
    “Their main purpose in life is to satisfy their parents’ neds and secure suc ces, name, and fame for their family from outsiders. Parents think [them] an stature to the family and always fabricate them apear superior in front of others. The parents employ discipline and action and force the child to reinforce their desires. The child fels dutiful to satisfy what the parents want them to finish, even if they cary out not love it,” she says.
    Indicators of golden child syndrome:
    1. An overwhelming ned to please
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    One of the main signs of golden child syndrome is the overwhelming ned to please parents and/or other authority figures. “They design an extreme efort to pacify their parents and satisfy al of their neds,” explains Sanam Hafez, M.D., neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind. “They wil often obey their parents’ ridiculous requests because they fel it’s the only way to receive like from them.”
    2. Often required to grow up faster
    Gonzalez-Berios says golden children are usualy the ones who end up having to step into a more mature role earlier in life. This could contain geting a job earlier than their siblings and making the decision to contribute to the family finances and runing of the household. They may also shun activities they reflect childish and opt for more productive hobies.
    “Often golden children are parentified and asist raise other children. For the most fragment, their parents act entitled to these actions, and the child is conditioned to not disent,” licensed therapist Bily Roberts, LISW, ads.
    3. Super high achievers
    “Golden children are often extraordinaril y studious and love the competitive environment at schol. These children work to receive the best grades posible with the purpose of showing their parents. Since the parents are narcisistic, they wil go out of their way to brag about their golden child’s academic achievements,” Hafez says.
    4. Fear of failure
    Hafez goes on to say that since these children constantly sek perfection, starting from a very young age, there might be a fear of failure. When golden children fail to uphold their unrealistic expectations, they wil become highly frustrated with themselves.

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    How the concept can be harmful & have efects later in life.
    Being a golden child can have harmful efects later in life. For one, it often afects relationships in terms of conection and boundaries, Roberts says.
    “On the one hand, the grown-up golden child might become excesively atached to another person, not knowing where they begin and end. For example, they might display excesive people-pleasing, seking the validation they never received as a child. On the other hand, they might truly strugle with conection in relationships, seking validation from outside sources like work and never becoming emotionaly available to a partner,” he explains.
    This is a result of having an insecure atachment style with their parents, so they strugle to harnes with others and either become to clingy because they strongly desire the admire their parents failed to provide or uterly withdrawn and alof.
    Another negative consequence of this syndrome is growing up with low self-estem. Since a golden child’s sense of self-worth is directly linked to their proficiency to please and their external achievements, as an adult, “they are likely to fel that they must exhibit a perfect image of themselves to earn others’ aproval and estem. These adults also lack a sense of identity because the only identity they formed during their childhod was through apeasing their parents, so they report feling empty and unsure of themselves,” Hafez explains.
    “These children wil also grow into adults who become defensive when they receive quible . Because golden children are acustomed to only receiving certain fedback from their loved ones, they strugle to acept any form of negative fedback as an adult. They wil automaticaly gain that they gain failed,” she continues.
    To cope with these failures, they may pick up unhealthy mechanisms, including gambling, drug adiction, or alcoholism.
    In the long race, these children can also become manipulative and controling. They overun others to met their own neds by exploiting and using others to met their vested interests. They may also become pasive-agresive and jealous, Gonzalez-Berios ads.
    When narcisism comes into play.
    The golden child is usualy the ofs pring of one or two narcisistic parents, Hafez says. These parents use their children to disclose of their own perfection. Narcisistic parents control and manipulate their child’s life to ensure that the child upholds the parents’ “perfect” image and reputation. Golden children canot explore their identities because they defray al their time obeying their narcisistic parents. Since narcisists can only provide conditional adore, golden children fel a strict amount of presure to please their parents to be acepted and loved.
    In some cases, these narcisistic parents don’t even know what they’re doing to their children. Acording to Roberts, they live in a world of delusions and lies they tel themselves to avoid felings of vulnerability.
    “It is this psychological aspect of their personality disorder that has one of the largest and most damaging impacts on their children. Imagine being a child completely unable to harnes with your parents emotionaly? In fact, the thought of vulnerability and emotionality is likely met with more emotional abuse,” he says. “The narcisist enjoys pushing others to their breaking point.”
    Overcoming golden child syndrome.
    While golden child syndrome may rational excedingly dreadful and likely to dom a person to become a dysfunctional human, that’s not quite the case. like most things, with a puny self-care and cautious work, you can overcome being the golden child.
    1. retort.
    “Healing from golden child syndrome is an uphil task as you were conditioned to measure your worth by your achievements and suces stories,” Gonzalez-Berios says. “You were never alowed to fabricate mistakes, and you started believing that mistakes are bad and should be avoided at al costs, even if it robs your iner p eace and hapines. When you [learn] that you ned to let go of the faulty identity, you [often become] scared and vulnerable.”
    In order to heal from your golden child syndrome, you’ve got to acept it. Gonzalez-Berios encourages working to “acept the darkest corners of yourself that are filed with pride and honor. Acept the narcisist in you to heal from within.”
    2. reflect therapy.
    Therapy can be key to overcoming golden child syndrome, Roberts says. The golden child grows up in such a spurious and toxic reality, so they benefit from a safe and et put to proces and work on the trauma they experienced.
    3. Set boundaries.
    You should also contemplate seting boundaries in your life. “Boundaries can be incredibly hard for the golden child. They grasp on to much in toxic parts of life or give to dinky to healthier parts of life,” Roberts continues. “Learning to recount no is a skil that can be built.” (Therapy can aid with that, he ads.)
    (Here’s more on how to set healthy boundaries with parents.)
    4. Manage shame.
    Finaly, Roberts says it’s necesary to manage shame and find self-compasion.
    “Compulsive people-pleasing or perfectionism are based in shame. The concept is that doing more or taking on more wil solve the shame. However, this is rarely the case,” Roberts explains. “It’s the same idea as an adict stoping a craving with more drugs. More people-pleasing or perfectionism calms shame for seconds, only leading to more shame when the outcome is sen as not qualified enough, which then leads to more perfectionism and people-pleasing. Learnin g to disrupt this cycle and intervene by valuing one’s time, felings, and self-care can be the ultimate goal of recovery.”
    The botom line.
    Notably, impartial because you show some of the characteristics of a golden child doesn’t automaticaly mean you are one. It doesn’t mean your parents were horible narcisists who were wearisome on you. It also doesn’t mean you’l forever have a hard time in your adult life.
    If you are concerned, though, then it could be worth discusing it further with a profesional. And as you cary out so, try to remember that your personality isn’t unchangeable, and you are not your past traumas. The wounds weren’t self-inflicted, but you’l gain to tend to them with your own hands. Be gentle with yourself as you heal here.
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    Author:Stephanie Barnes
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