Head over heels about the guy or gal you’ve been dating? When it comes to marriage advice, the number one rule is to make sure you really know the person walking down the aisle.
It sounds simple, but that’s what it comes down to. Do you share the same values and beliefs? Is he a team player? Does she bring out the best in you? There are so many questions to ask before marriage. So where do you even start?
Marriage Advice 101 – Here Are 5 Important Questions to Ask Before Marriage:
While there are many questions you should be asking yourself before marriage, here are the five main areas you should cover with your hubby or wife-to-be.
1. What Is His/Her Approach to Money?
Is your partner financially responsible? In terms of spending habits, is he or she an impulsive spender? Money can become a major source of stress, so before you get married it’s important to make sure you’re on the same page.
In fact, did you know money is the second most common reason for divorce? (In case you’re wondering, infidelity is number one.)
2. What Is His/Her Ability to Handle and Resolve Conflict?
We’ve all been there. You’re dating someone you really like and things seem to be going well. Then, all of a sudden you’re in the middle of a Jekyll and Hyde situation. Whoa. This guy is not who I thought he was.
The reason this happens to so many of us is because we fail to ask the important questions in the beginning. Or worse, we ignore the red flags because the chemistry is so intense. On the road to love, one of the biggest lessons that everyone learns is that chemistry doesn’t necessarily equal compatibility.
Chemistry doesn’t necessarily equal compatibility.
It’s important to keep in mind that everyone has different conflict styles. While there are some people who like to fix things immediately, others prefer to walk away and avoid the drama entirely. If you’re a fixer and your partner is more of an “I need space” person, then you two will likely face some communication issues.
The bottom line: It’s easy to be happy when things are going well. The true test of a relationship is if you can successfully make it through an argument. And not just survive it, but resolve the issue and move forward stronger as a couple.
3. What Is His/Her Intimacy and Attachment Style?
Are you both on the same page when it comes to sex? Are you comfortable sharing what you like and don’t like? For example, sex can become a problem if one of you wants to be intimate every night of the week while the other has a more indifferent attitude.
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Also, this is important to think about in terms of how you both express your love. If one of you is extremely affectionate and the other isn’t, that can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the line.
4. Does He/She Want to Have Children?
This goes beyond the obvious question of whether or not you both want children. Once you cover that, take it one step further and discuss how you want to raise your kids. If religion applies in this case, it’s better to have everything out on the table before marriage.
Another important area is discipline. You should both agree on how your children should be disciplined when they disobey. The last thing you want is to have a partner who doesn’t know how to set boundaries and stick to them.
Also, let’s imagine you have a difficult time getting pregnant. Find out if your partner is open to adoption. While these might be uncomfortable questions to ask before marriage, it’s better than getting blindsided later.
5. How Does He/She Treat Others?
Pay attention to how she interacts with other people. Aside from getting along with your friends and family, how does he treat strangers? Whether it’s the waiter at the restaurant or holding the door open for the mom with a stroller, these small gestures speak the most about his character.
If you’re looking for a long-term partner who is kind, thoughtful, and compassionate, watch how they behave on a normal day-to-day basis. Those are the moments when you will truly see who someone is.
The Most Important Marriage Advice You Will Ever Receive
Marriage is a serious commitment and choosing the right partner is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life. So, before you get married, do your homework. Listen to marriage advice from people who’ve experienced it. Bring up the important questions to ask before marriage, even the hard ones.
Think about what will make you happy long-term, and communicate openly and honestly. Get clear about what you want and what you don’t want, and you’ll be that much closer to a happily ever after.