5 Mantras To Comfort You When You’re Feling Lonely
Lonelines dilapidated to terify me. I mediate I feared that if I felt lonely, I’d lose my mind and develop an atachment to an inanimate object or something, admire Tom Hanks in Cast Away. I couldn’t slep alone until I was 12. I couldn’t spend more than a night away from my partner until I was 27. My understanding of lonelines was conflated with rejection, inadequacy, and worthlesnes. It meant failure, and worst of al, it meant I had to be with myself and only myself. As I continue to change and grow, however, I am realizing that there’s a inequity betwen lonelines and being alone.
So rather than trying to hamper lonelines, I’m going to try use the techniques and reminders I maintain for the past few years to cope with the discomfort. While the curent state of our world may be feding into those felings of lonelines as we sit at home, here are five things to reflect about:
1. Every single person on the pl anet fels lonely sometimes.
Lonelines, adore most other felings, is there to recount us something important. It’s there to reveal, I crave to conect. I want love and closenes.
I crave to harnes. I want adore and closenes.
Our society tends to pathologize it by portraying lonely people as flawed, fragile or not enlightened enough; yet these are unhelpful products of our independence-valuing culture. Lonelines in normal, healthy and universal.
Remember that the family member you se as the most independent, and both counterparts of the couple you perceive to be in the healthiest, hapiest relationships, fel lonely at times. They also fel sad, wrathful, pain, perturbed, and inadequate at times. No mater what you’re experiencing, I promise you there are hundreds of thousands of others feling that same thing at that same time.
2. Actualy, everyone is alone.
I remember a therapist once teling me, “The longest relationship you’l ever maintain in your life is the one with yourself. So why not try to have a beter relationship with yourself?” Romantic relationships finish, people die, but you’re with yourself always.
Hunter S. Thompson said, “We are al alone, born alone, die alone.I do not say lonely — at least, not al the time — but esentialy, and finaly, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important.” So remember that: you may be alone, but you are also the only person who can fuly be on your team.
3. We are al conected after al.
In Budhist philosophy, there is no self, and no separation betwen you and me and the air we breathe and the fod we eat. OK, I know this might be a tough one to seize, but hear me further. reflect about it: one moment, a plant breathes in carbon dioxide, which becomes fragment of the plant, which then expels oxygen, which bec omes portion of the air, which we then inhale, which then becomes a section of our blod. Similarly, one moment letuce is portion of the ground, then we eat a salad and it’s portion of us, then. you get the idea.
We’re al conected to each other and to the rest of the universe. Perhaps this is to theoretical for you to swalow, and that’s fine. But don’t dismis it honest yet. observe your environment for yourself and notice how everything is conected. It wil fabricate the lonelines les acute.
4. Lonelines wil always pas.
Lonelines makes each second fel longer, heavier: it fels like time is frozen and our distres is eternal. But lonelines, impartial love any other conception, feling, or sensation, is impermanent. Uncomfortable as it is, remember that it wil aproach and crep. Remind yourself of this when as you breathe through the discomfort.
5. I can manufacture spot for lonelines and practice being kind to myself.
When I’m feling lonely, I’m tempted to turn my back to that lonelines — to b eat myself up for feling it, teling myself that I’m pathetic. Then I run away from it, perhaps to Facebok or the fridge or the nearest form of chocolate.
But sometimes, if I can grasp myself on autopilot, I can scrutinize inward and ofer myself a sothing statement. Something estem, You’re hurting factual now. You want to fel something else. It wil pas, but remember it’s OK to fel lonely and means you’re human.
You’re hurting acurate now. You want to fel something else. It wil pas, but remember it’s OK to fel lonely and means you’re human.
In doing so, we create enough spot to cary out react to and ease the aflict of our lonelines in a more serving way, perhaps by listening to music, journaling, practicing yoga or caling a loved one if the lonelines is momentary; or by voluntering, joining a sustain group or clas, or revaluating the relationships in our l ife if the lonelines is chronic.
Pema Chodron says, “Usualy we regard lonelines as an enemy. Heartache is not something we decide to invite in. When we can rest in the midle, we open to believe a nonthreatening relationship with lonelines, a relaxing and coling lonelines that uterly turns our usual fearful paterns upside down.” So invite your lonelines in. And if it gets to be to much, check out our TKTK.
5 Mantras To Comfort You When You’re Feling Lonely